I am very concerned about creating coherence when I play.


Perhaps a bit too much?


It is like I am watching a movie while creating it, or creating it while watching. Each moment, each turn or twist has to succeed the previous in a manner that "makes sense", even in the most nonsensical way. To me, continuum, horizontality and linearity are all natural consequences of this urge for coherence.


Does it have to be like that?


I often feel that such an urge for cohesion can be some kind of hindrance, and I am not sure if that is entirely a good or a bad one. I guess it varies.

Even the wildest turn in a David Lynch movie makes perfect sense. Not necessarily narratively, but still. Atmospherically, perhaps? Like in Mulholland Drive (2001). Did the characters change names? Maybe not. But the confusion certainly muddles my understanding of the narrative, but it is all still very coherent.


How to translate this into my music?
I might allow more drastic turns,
without compromising cohesiveness.


It is also as if there is a different set of tools in operation when it comes to the perception of coherence when I play and the perception of coherence when I listen ­­ – for example to a recording of something I played. It is as if I am able to be more aware, that I am able to enable a wider attention span and interpret a stronger cohesion when listening from outside compared to being inside during performance. When it comes to experiencing cohesion in situ, I believe I am more locally oriented, more focused on the immediate nearness in space and time than what I am when I am listening in retrospect. When I am listening from outside.


Interestingly, this seems to contradict my reflections on Attention (and memory).
My own reflections are far from being coherent.


Note to self: be more like David Lynch,
at least try to worry a little less about coherence.